Juliet, 16, live in England and I like toast

meladoodle:

nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off

(Source: meladoodle, via ugly)

lubricates:

the sexual tension between me and no one

(via greed)

twerksauce-jive:

itsmemacleod:

"don’t worry i have your back" i say as i swing your spine in front of your eyes, taunting you, back and forth…back and forth…

Macleod what the fuck

(Source: mxcleod, via giggle)

glory-to-cobrastan:

shabangles:

When I start to get emotional I immediately think “I’m so gay” and this is because straight people actually don’t have emotions

this is false and heterophobic. straight people have a panorama of emotions including:

  • outrage
  • jealousy
  • Situational Benevolence (aka “don’t fight hate w/ hate”)
  • sports
  • umami, the “Fifth Emotion”
  • TGIF

(via slimygoodra)

kimpissible:

THERE IS ACTUALLY NOT A BETTER FEELING THEN TO HAVE A BESTFRIEND WHO ALSO THINKS OF U AS THEIR BESTFRIEND

(via greed)

nativeandnaive:

legendxofxzach:

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

(via asian)

808dilly:

conspicuouslad:

I read every one of these to my wife until she screamed at me to shut up.

Hahaha

(Source: iraffiruse, via asian)

charlesoberonn:

rooster-tale:

mosquii:

mosquii:

mosquii:

hey could you pass me one of those snoods

liSTEn hERE THI S HAS GON E ON FAR TOO LONG THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE KNOWN FOR I WANTED TO GO FAR IN LIFE BUT NO I’M STUCK HERE WITH OVER 29 THOUSAND PEOPLE AND NO FUCKING SNOODS THIS IS NOT THE LEGACY I SIGNED UP FOR

ENOUgh

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE SNOOD S

I believe it’s spelled SNOOdS

charlesoberonn:

rooster-tale:

mosquii:

mosquii:

mosquii:

hey could you pass me one of those snoods

liSTEn hERE THI S HAS GON E ON FAR TOO LONG THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE KNOWN FOR I WANTED TO GO FAR IN LIFE BUT NO I’M STUCK HERE WITH OVER 29 THOUSAND PEOPLE AND NO FUCKING SNOODS THIS IS NOT THE LEGACY I SIGNED UP FOR

ENOUgh

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THE SNOOD S

I believe it’s spelled SNOOdS

(via slimygoodra)

captainblunts:

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Idk can you?"

image

(via borinq)

jackfrostftw:

akilequidae:

Spiderman

DEAR GOd

jackfrostftw:

akilequidae:

Spiderman

DEAR GOd

(via slimygoodra)

gothprada:

How do I uninstall anxiety

(via shizuuku)

sofiaauditores:

*inhales* what a beautiful day *exhales* to play video games for 15 hours straight

(Source: cierin, via stand)

imagineyouricon:

Imagine having a threesome with your current icon and the icon you had before

(via kurageki)

fullyactivated:

sherlacking:

Feminism is knowing that you don’t have to wear things to impress a man

Feminism is also knowing that it’s okay to wear things to impress a man if you want to

Society forgets the first part, tumblr forgets the second part

(Source: panemwillfall, via mommaegbert)

                                                Signed in blood along a dotted line
                                                                By the silence
                                                      Here’s the soul of your boy
                                                       As I promised, in this toy
                                              Pull his strings and hear my laughter

(Source: shu-s, via akashis)